Hello. Today I created The Best Sandwich on Earth. I haven’t consumed bread since 21 August, and, it’s been quite a few months since my last chomp upon flax seed wrap because restaurant Eden has closed, and they were my source! The prospect of a gorgeous sandwich strummed like a muse in my head for the past few weeks, and today I needed it. My legs felt weak, and I needed more oomph for my lunch than usual. So here we go.

Start with a BAG of goop from the coop.

The goop. :)

I won’t even show you the ingredients. Super processed. But vegan “cheese slices” have come such a long way since my last indulgence of five years ago.


These babies are golden. Organic veggie wraps. Totally “junk free zone,” indeed.

Ingredients: organic zucchini, organic apple, organic flax seeds, organic coconut, organic turmeric, organic oregano, organic onion, and black salt. JESUS. Who wants gross bread when they can have this stuff?

A plate by Anthropologie, featuring a cute praying mantis.

Veggie wrap.

Our signature base layer, in mustard.

3 diagonal tomatoes.

Add spinach! You should have seen me shopping in the produce section! Ha ha ha! It was a laughing stock. It’s much different than using tweezers on the salad bar. And I actually needed to wash it for myself. #OldDogNewTricks

Decorate with cheese, in the fashion of a smile. Did you know that the smiley emoji was created at Pittsburgh’s CMU in 1982?

And did you know that a cheese smiley featuring heart eyes was created by Nicole Marie Story in 2017?

Ha ha ha! Give it some pig tails.

And voila!


The best sandwich on Earth.

My head exists in a happiness coma.

I ate 2. And they were marvelous.


PS Here’s a yoga pose from last night.